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TIME ACTUALLY FLIES WITH KIDS
A few days back I gave a surprise visit to my son (chini) in school. But in contrast I got a surprise or I would say shock by his response. Thought that he would jump with jubilation and would come running towards me to hug me tight all turned into great disappointment. There was no such thing. I had failed to incite any excitement in him by my unexpected appearance. He was quite reluctant to accompany me in the car but eventually gave in to my bribe that there is a bigger surprise waiting for him (adamant me trying best to excite him somehow). On the way back home, he was least interested in talking just wanting to know what the surprise was.
I kept rebuffing the negative thoughts the whole day but at night I cried my heart out pondering over the response of my son.
Why was he not excited to see me in the school?
Is he not feeling the bond we had between us?
Am I not spending enough quality time with him?
Am I scolding him too much that he is losing the attachment or is it the little spanking I do to be blamed.
I was just not able to sleep feeling as if my son, my possession is going away. Kids are the greatest asset of parents. Chini is the purpose of my life. I eagerly wait for him to come back from school. My whole day’s planning is decided as per his school and activities schedule. I long for days off to spend time with him. In short my whole life revolves around him. But today I felt something amiss. I was grossly upset.
Last summers for the first time chini had stayed back at his nani’s place without me. I was missing him a lot then but the attraction of staying there with cousins was understandable. Being a single child he is always attracted to spending time with his cousins. But today was something different.
But then I tried to come out from sulking and realized that it was actually nothing to be upset about. He was growing and wanted to take decisions on his own. He was liking the company of his friends more than me. He did not want to be guided all the time and staying with the friends gave him that opportunity. He was not going away from me but was trying to create a space for himself. He preferred to go out and play rather than sitting with me and reading books. In fact he had off lately started reading books alone and was enjoying his own company. All these changes were part of growing up.
I should be happy about it. Yes I am. But I have one complaint.Wish I had spent some more time with my kid when he was young. Wish I had taken a day off from office when he used to ask me for that. Time just flies. House work can wait, office work can wait and everything else can be postponed but not time spent with kids. This will not come back.”Huh”