Please don't educate your son as a favour on his bride
|   Jan 09, 2017
Please don't educate your son as a favour on his bride

Recently in my family we were looking for groom for my sister-in-law. After reaching to a suitable match talks went on. After the traditional family meeting then came the final deciding factor i.e dowry. I listened as my father-in-law talked to the prospective groom's mother. It was like a business deal. He asked the lady about her expectations regarding the dowry sum. She demanded a good 20 lacs and had some amazing justifications for her demand. She went on and in diplomatic tones she said that she has spent a lot on her son's education and so he has a handsome salary and therefore your daughter will always be blessed to live with him. Then my father-in-law responded by saying that he has also spent on his daughter's education, she also has a career. This fact the lady brushed off by saying "haan wo to thik hai", and again she went on bragging about her son's qualifications. So the discussion went on and was closed for further perusal by my father-in-law. 

I kept thinking the whole day about this terribly unethical practice which is even today flourishing in our society like disease-spreading mosquitoes. How authoritatively the groom's family shows that the poor girl needs their boy! How they shun the fact that they too need a wife for him, a daughter-in-law for them! And if I take one of your needs, the so called "mera vansh aagey kaise badhega" thing , come on people, your son cannot reproduce alone and if he does it without a marriage you won't call that offspring your "vansh" right! So stop showing the girl's family that they should agree to all your terms and conditions in order to get their daughter married off. 

Some people argue that you should not demand for a dowry if the prospective bride is a working woman. Wow! No that's not a justification. Whether a girl is working or would be a home-maker, you have no right to ask for any dowry, because then also you need a daughter-in-law, not for the sake of her salary but she as a person you do need her badly. 

These were just a few lame justifications of dowry demand which I wrote here. Some people even stoop low to the level of counting the money they have used for feeding milk to their son. There are no ends when people are greedy and when they think asking for dowry is their basic right in this society because they have produced sons. I feel like slapping them on their faces and telling them to better keep your sons uneducated and better feed them with free grass available around if you have this justification for people that you are doing it as a favour on some poor girl. 

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