Click here for shortcuts to regional language blogs and city-specific events.
Anyone out there who "wants" a perfect life?
Anyone out there who "has" a perfect life?
I don't want to generalize, but my innumerable interactions with the people around me lead me to believe that everyone wants a perfect life, yet no one has one. But this is of course a known fact and we have all heard it all the time. Yet somehow, discussing the imperfections of one's life seem to be a taboo. Putting it out there, for everyone to know is something which is considered "not so good".
"Ghar ki baate ghar me rehni chahiye"; "people just need an excuse to start gossiping about you"; "everyone except your parents will be happy to know you have problems"; "people will show concern on your face, but behind your back they will make fun of you" and so on.
How many times have our elders told us these things? How many times do we fight at home and the next moment come out with a happy face in a party or a get-together, so as not make it publicly known?
I do not understand if I am a retard at these social norms or no one but me notices this paradox? First of all, you are taught that everyone has problems, but talking about those problems in public is supposedly bad.
My problems probably make people happy; talking about my problems makes me feel lighter. So, both parties are at advantage, then what is so bad about it? Putting out a "perfect picture" of my not-so-perfect-life makes me feel bad, because even though I am trying to make the other person envious, I know at my heart it is not true. And the lies that I have to make up to paint that picture - remember it the next time I meet the same person or someone close to him - is it not too much work? Moreover, who knows, the other person may not even envy you, rather he would simply be laughing at you because he knows the reality. Are these emotions very basic or it is just me who is different?
Why do we live and follow these double standards and prefer to live in a world of lies is beyond me. If sharing the good part of our life is good, sharing the bad part too should be equally good. When you open up, it is amazing how the other person opens up too. To know that you are both are sailing in the same boat more or less, gives you strength to deal with your problems. Sometimes, you also realize that what is happening with you is not so normal and that too gives you the courage to come out of that situation.
Don't we all know at least one such person who always shows off his or her life is the best and make fun of him or her as the most pretentious person? Haven't we come across at least one such situation when we said "do I look so stupid that he or she expects me to believe that?"?
Then why are we so desperate to wear the veil of this perfect life in public when everyone knows that is a farce? Why can't we be ourselves and discard these hypocrisies? So there is a discord between a couple or someone is fired from his job; someone did not make it to the coveted educational institute or someone is not getting married. Why do we need to find excuses to cover up such things? Aren't these some of the ingredients of which life is made up?
Admitting to imperfections in life should not cause embarrassment; rather that should motivate us to sustain and improve. Doesn't that make more sense?