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Ever since I had my younger one, I have
been reflecting the pros and cons of having a 7 year gap between my two kids. I
have always wanted two kids and was very clear about my son having a sibling.
The question was, ' when is it the right time to plan and
have the second one'?
Many of my 'mommy' friends have given me advice upon this life changing decision, of keep a gap between two kids ranging from 2 years to maybe 4 years.
Ideally a 5 year-gap is perfect is what I always felt. Then why the seven year gap, you ask! Well, personal upheavals in my life delayed the decision. I had a lot of emotional baggage to deal with first. Also, I wanted to be emotionally and physically ready to take on the role of mommy of two kids.
Hence it was a very emotional moment for me when I found out I was expecting my second child. And when the day arrived, my daughter came as an angel into our lives. She filled our lives with so many colours and brought about many positive changes.
Pros & Cons
Well, as soon as I found out about the pregnancy,
I had this huge task of preparing my 7 year old 'only' child to prepare for the
changes in his life. Lo and behold, he was totally excited to have a sibling of
his own and in fact wished to have a baby sister. Later I found out from him
that his wish was for a simple reason- a girl will not want to play with all
his "boy" toys. Ironically, that point now stands irrelevant as she
wants any and every toy that her big brother plays with.
Of course there were times when he would feel left while I took care of the baby. Times when he would eat dinner only from me and wondering why the baby is being breastfed and he couldn't be in the room.
But there are moments of such pure love between the two that all their small fights and the big brother's irritations are forgotten. Both want to see each other first as soon as they wake up and she should be the first one to welcome him home when he comes back from school.
This truly is a bond that they will share even when we the parents are gone. A bond that I now share with my brother as my mother is no more. It feels like home, when I speak with him. This is the reason I firmly believed in my son having a sibling.
Like every big brother, he is always ready to save his sister from anyone bullying her in a play area and sometimes even from me when I give her medicines.
Of course, having such a gap has some cons like I can't miss his school meetings and functions, while managing an infant. We can't just get up and go for his favourite movies or other outings anymore. Everything has to be planned according to the younger one's routine.
But you tell yourself, it’s only for a couple more years. Like the older one grew up, she will too. And then I will have all the time to myself. From where I am now, that day sure looks a little far away now.
But the mommy is enjoying each and every special moment with my babies. As I think these thoughts, I type down this poem that aptly describes my feelings.
Away from the world
In my own world
No noise, only peace
Is it the noise that I miss
Or the faces of my friends
There pops a cute grin from my baby
And all is forgotten
The noise, the friends
My world is what came inside from me, not outside
The laughter, the noise, will always be there
The baby grin will soon go away
All I will be left with is the photographic memories
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