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Past few years have been very tumultuous for me personally. Of course there have been silver linings with joyous and happy occasions that have become lovely memories now. But the lows have been pretty significant. As I look back now, I feel these ‘lows’ actually have been lessons that have helped me relook at life and my purpose in life in general.
There were times when I would find myself really down the dumps having lost my mother who was also my best friend and soul mate. This was a big loss to me as a daughter, and shook my whole belief system and personality. It’s been 5 years now and I have been trying to find myself and put myself back together piece by piece. Hence, I have made a small list of resolutions or affirmations– since the word ‘resolution’ is too binding. While ‘affirmation’ as the dictionary says means the act of affirming or a statement that provides encouragement and emotional support or motivation. So I would go with the latter.
We are so involved in the small day to day lives chores and mindless routine that we never ever see the BIG picture. Well this immense loss and few smaller ones over the years, taught me to do just that. My husband took the maximum toll through this trying time of mine. While I was 30 when I lost my mom, inside I was completely shattered but he helped me stay together. He was 34 then and finding himself too, while I put this great responsibility of handling ‘me’ on him. For this I thank him from the core of my heart and also promise to be a better wife, companion and friend to him in the coming year.
This one is for my kids – my life support, the sunshine in the saddest of days, also the reason I love life and enjoy each and every moment with a big smile. The role of a nurturer where I get to mould these little babies into happy, healthy individual is what I identify with most now. After my mother left me, it felt as if the hand that was guiding me through life was suddenly snatched away. It just made me lost and clueless for a while. When my mind was blurred with these thoughts, I felt a small tug at my hand. There, with this cute grin was my baby who wanted ME to guide him. Just then, I found the first piece of myself back and my second purpose in life! Loving and guiding my children as now I have a baby girl too who completed my family! So my second resolution is to spend good, quality time with my kids and enjoy their childhood as much as I can.
This resolution is for ME – as dealing with life and the many ups and downs; I sort of lost myself somewhere in the many roles I play. My thoughts, my wishes, my vision all was there but was packed in some storage with a lot of dust covering it. I have to take them out of storage, dust them off and discover myself again. Go back to reading nice books, start my yoga and travel to wonderful locations. The end of this year did just that, when I found this wonderful job of writing (my first love) about ‘guess what?’– Children and motherhood (my second love). And, drum roll please, I get to work from home and at my own time and pace!
So, my third resolution is to discover myself and nurture myself and explore all possibilities that can truly enrich my life in every way!
My fourth resolution is for my family members and my extended family that I call friends. My friends have always lifted my spirits, picked me and made me fly from whatever lows I was into. They came in the form of school friends, my diaper buddies (chaddi buddy as they say here), my college friends, work friends, my married friends and also my very big group of mommy friends. In every phase of life, friends have made many moments special and made life so much worth living.
In the coming year, I wish and hope to spend lots more beautiful times with them. These moments spent together are also those special memories we will always look back in to and smile.
So cheers to a very happy, healthy, beautiful year that is to come! Happy New Year 2015!!